Short smart and funny tweets

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Short smart and funny tweets.... Get them on Facebook

Total Records: 2442

	582	The closer you get... the further I fall
	950	I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
	685	~ do i look like a grocery item?cuz u sure are checking me out~ Tina
	602	An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
	1053	If the dictionary spells a word wrong how are we suppose to know?

Top Rated Tweets

	1054	If one sychronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
	1055	If they say TVs so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
	1052	Im spending some quality time with my pilow... and doing my spelling too (zzzzzzz):-D
	1087	Studying. Notice how they conviently put "DYING" at the end of this word?
	1728	im so cool i make the ice cubes shiver!

Newly Added Tweets

	2680	# The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro
	2677	NEXT!!! Can I help you? Nah. I just stood in line to say hi.
	2671	If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
	2669	you tweet me, i tweet back, you don't reply. what's all that about? if you don't want to talk to me, don't tweet me in the first place.
	2668	i hope dis is just a nightmare. im gonna wake up & open my eyes..... 1, 2, 3.... it's not a dream. it's not a nightmare. it is HELL.....

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